Terri's Blog

I made it through the second MRI with the help of Valium and lots of prayer. I also met with the plastic surgeon this week. The surgeon and nurse explained everything I could possibly ever want to know about breast cancer surgery and reconstruction. I have such a better idea now of what will happen during the surgery and during the recovery. I don't want to minimize what others have experienced during this process, but I really think my experience is going to be a fairly routine and much easier thing than I first thought. My surgery is scheduled for March 3. I'll be in the hospital overnight and my mother and sister-in-law will come and stay with me for a couple of days.

"God placed Esther on the throne even before the Jews faced the possibility of complete destruction, so that when trouble came a person would already be in the position to help. No human effort could thwart God's plan to send the Messiah to earth as a Jew. If you are changing jobs, position, or location and can't see God's purpose, understand that God is in control. He may be placing you in a position so you can help when the need arises."

I read the above in the study footnotes of my Bible this week and have thought about it over and over. How awesome is it that God puts us right where we need to be so that he can use us for his work?

I'm meeting each week with a group of ladies from my church to study the book of Esther. The study was developed by Beth Moore and is titled Esther: It's Tough to be a Woman. One of the ladies asked me on our second meeting why I chose this particular study. I told her that my friend Kristen and I had three choices on our list and we basically picked it because it was the author's newest effort. That was before my diagnosis. Now, I'm thinking that even though Kristen and I didn't have a clear picture how this study might impact the women, God had every intention of us selecting it. I know that it means much more to me right now.

If you don't know the story of Esther, let me give you just a few highlights:
Orphaned Jewish girl becomes queen over all the other beautiful girls in an empire that once held her people captive. Plot to annihilate all her people is planned by man who hates all Jews. Cousin Mordecai urges her to save their people by speaking to the king even though it could mean her death just to address him. Esther plans and implements a request that not only saves her, but all her people, too.

God put Esther in a position that would allow her to save her people ensuring that the genealogy and family lineage of Jesus Christ would be in tact. God's plan! What more can I say? We are so privileged to be a part of it. I think that he's putting me in a position to do something and I'll bet if you stop to think about it, he may be doing the same thing in your life.

I know that I told some of you that I'd be having an MRI today and then I'd probably know more about the scheduling of my surgery, Well, I went for the MRI. I prepared for the MRI. I got all the way onto the equipment of the MRI, but I couldn't do it. During an MRI several years ago, I realized that I might be a bit claustrophobic in extreme situations. This test is definitely and extreme situation for me. I got through another MRI at that same time only with the aid of drugs. Today, I gave it my best effort, but I began to panic within the first minutes of entering the machine. I felt like I couldn't breathe or move and when the nurses gave me the option to wait for a prescription and a rescheduled date, I took it. I'll give it another try on Wednesday with drugs in hand. A very good friend, who went with me, helped me relax on the drive back. Once again, I'm blessed by the people willing to help.

As you can see, I started this blog almost a year ago. The learning curve that was involved in writing and publishing a blog wasn't too difficult, but I couldn't seem to find even the few minutes that it took to complete. But, now that life has taken a severe turn into something new, I feel compelled to begin again and really become committed to working at sharing my writing with friends and family. As many of you already know, I've recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. I apologise to those friends and family who are just now hearing this, but it became difficult to tell everyone individually. I want people to know about what is occuring because I truly desire as many prayers as possible for my doctors and nurses and my surgery and recovery. And, those who've known me for many years know that I'm open about almost everything in my life because it has always helped me to talk about things. I'm a talker by nature; a storyteller, if you will.

Creating this blog seemed like such a good way to keep people informed, yet, I won't always talk about the cancer. The cancer, itself, is not what is most important right now. I know that God has given me this chance to learn some new things about myself and that his continuing plan for my life is being further implemented. I'll share the news about the cancer, but I hope that you'll continue to read the blog long afterwards because you enjoy what I have to say. I do promise my family that I won't use this as a "tell-all," but when you inspire and teach me something, you're sure to be a part of my stories.

I've always wanted to write and publish. During my college years, I hoped to be the next Barbara Walters. Sorry, Dad, but I didn't understand the whole "liberal" vs "conservative" thing back then like I do today. I just thought she was a great storyteller. I wanted to meet all those great people and make a difference, but I quickly realized after a disastrous interview with an an agressive and intimidating lawyer that maybe I wasn't tough enough to be the next Barbara. And, today, I wouldn't want that kind of job for anything. But, now you know that this isn't my first foray into the world of journalism or storytelling. Please join me in my musings and essays and I'll try to keep you informed.